It was six thirty in the morning and Maureen was wide awake. Normally, she would still be sleeping. Afterall, she was certainly no morning person. But Sunday was the only day when Joanne was completely hers. She often brought home her cases and worked late into the night so they had made a rule: no work on Sundays. In order to get the most of their day off, Maureen had planned to get Joanne to start running with her on Sunday mornings. Maureen ran every day. All of the sites and sounds of New York were so raw and beautiful. It helped her clear her head and often gave her inspiration for her next performance piece. And it a relaxing way to stay fit.
Joanne didn’t agree. She hated running, especially outside. She much preferred the concentrated, static workout of the elliptical machine at her office’s gym. It helped her focus on the tasks of the day. She often brought her latest briefs with her in order to get more work done. When Maureen had asked her to run with her on the next morning Joanne had tried to find every excuse to avoid it.
They had just finished dinner and were sitting on the couch. Joanne was looking over some casework while Maureen was channel surfing.
“But Pookie! Sunday is our day together and I wanna do stuff with you.” Maureen whined as she flashed her puppy eyes at me. I hate it when she gives me those eyes. They’re like kryptonite to me.
“I want to spend the day with you too, but why do we have to spend it running at the butt crack of dawn, outside, down 5th avenue, battling with a hundred pedestrians and taxis?” I tried my best to flash her some of my own puppy eyes but I ended up looking more like a buggy-eyed Chihuahua. Not effective.
“But New York is so pretty in the morning. We never explore the city anymore. All we ever do is stay in the apartment, go to restaurants, or spend time at the Life. It’s just something different. New York is always full of fun surprises if you just look past the grime.”
I knew she was right but I wasn’t ready to give in yet. “Then why do we have to go at 6:30 in the morning? Why can’t we just go during the day or in the evening?”
Maureen hated it when I went into Joanne-the-lawyer mode, all of the questions and cross-examinations. She always complained that she would never win a fight with me ‘cause I was a professional at arguing. That’s completely untrue. Maureen’s a lot smarter than that. She just uses that as yet another way to win our arguments. So Maureen pulled out the only other weapon in her arsenal.
She got this mischievous little smile on her face and slowly began to crawl across the couch towards me until she was hovering over me with her lips millimeters away from mine. Her warm, sweet breath was on my face and I couldn’t stop the heat from rising within me. Her hand slowly began working it’s way up my leg as she began kissing me along my neck and behind my ears, everywhere except my lips. In a low, husky voice generally reserved for our bedroom she whispered in between kisses, “Because… I want…you…all day…and…all night.” My eyes were closed as I gave into her touches, melting in her hands. I opened my eyes to see her centimeters away from my face. I leaned forward to kiss her and just as my lips brushed hers she pulled away from me.
With one eyebrow peaked and her arms crossed, she mocked my lawyer-tone, “Do we have a deal, counselor?”
I tried my best to keep a straight face but cracked, “That’s not fair. I object. Opposing counsel is manhandling me and distracting me from the issue at hand.” I am so not the actor in this relationship.
“Overruled.” She said in the snootiest voice she could manage. Then leaning towards me again, in her low voice growled, “The deal is on the table and we can discuss the details in my chambers.” With that she popped off of the couch and slowly sauntered into our bedroom without even a glance backwards.
I stared at her as she walked away from me, marveling at her abilities of persuasion and manipulation. How does Collins do it? Whapish, Whapish.
I didn’t marvel very long as I scrambled off the couch and practically sprinted to the bedroom door.
“Pooookie, wake up! You promised me last night you would go running with meeee!”
She squirmed in the bed, moaning her protest and proceeded to cover her head with her pillow. There is no way I’m letting her get away with this, she promised! I began to try to pry the pillow from Joanne’s hands, away from her face.
“Joanne Jefferson, get up right now or I’ll have to charge you with perjury, tie you down to this bed, and have my way with you!” At this Joanne couldn’t help but be intrigued. She dropped the pillow from her face and smirked, revealing her look of curiosity.
“I don’t mean it in GOOD way,” I said as I playfully slapped her in the arm.
“Ok! I’m up, I’m up.”
“Finally!” I jumped off the bed and went to the closet to get her some workout clothes. I had already put on mine and I knew she was going to take forever.
She was rubbing her eyes and yawning very loudly, like a bored tiger in a cage at the zoo.
“I can’t believe it’s 6:30 already. I am so damn tired. Why can’t our extracurricular activities last night count as exercise?”
Still the lawyer, fighting until the end. I just stood there with one hand on my hip and the other one outstretched, holding her workout clothes.
She sighed, an overly obnoxious sigh and merely nodded her consent. Ding! Round 1 for Maureen!
“I’ll start the coffee baby, so you’re awake and aren’t running with your eyes shut and yawning with your mouth wide open.” I giggled as I ran over and pecked her on the cheek. I was pleasantly surprised when I felt her hand slap my ass. I turned around to see her grin at me, “I guess it’ll be bearable just as long as I get to run behind you.”
And of course being the temptress that I am, I slowly jogged out of the room into the kitchen, wiggling my butt as seductively as I could. Just as I got out of the room I could hear her mutter, “So not fair.”